The fall season is upon us, and winter is just around the corner. That is, unless you reside in Atlanta like myself. Then it feels like all of the seasons are occurring simultaneously, and that classic Uncle Luke lyric, “Rain boots and a thong is all that you should have on,” begins to reign true. Nevertheless, what we all can agree on is that the infamous cuffing season is in full effect, and the thirst is real for both sexes. If your DM’s aren’t being filled up at this moment, fret not. We are merely in the scouting stage and there’s still time for you to build-a-bae before winter arrives and final cuts are made.
In proper cuffing season fashion, I am sharing five signs to help you readily recognize if your potential [or current] bae is in fact a regular, degular, schmegular f*ckboy. By no means, shape, and/or form am I a dating and relationship expert or guru. And in no way will I accept partial or full responsibility should you discover that Bae is actually a fraud. But my encounters with f*ckboys have been plenteous. With that being said, here are the five signs that you should look out for to determine if you are keeping the wrong company:
Sign #5: He’s fake busy
If you are over the age of twenty-one, chances are your life is pretty hectic. Your daily schedule may consist of college courses, a career, a child(ren), a significant other or spouse, social events, and then some. This is completely understandable and a normal part of “adulting.” However, there is a difference in being real busy and fake busy. If your bae is constantly making the excuse of being “too busy” to spend time with you, it’s likely he’s just dodging you. A friend of mine dated a doctor once, and if you know anything about a doctor’s work schedule, then you know that they don’t work your typical 40 hours per week. Not only is he a doctor, but he is also a father of two and spends every other weekend with his children. Still, I can’t recall a time that he missed their regular date nights, even if it meant her sharing his time with his children and opting for a family outing rather than a candlelit dinner. We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day, and if he can’t find even a single hour to spend with you, then he isn’t worth your time.
Sign #4: He’s inconsistent
You and Potential Bae saw a movie over the weekend. The vibes were great, the energy was on point, and all seemed well. He gives you a call the next day to let you know how much he enjoyed spending time with you and hopes that you two can do it again soon. Seems pretty standard after a successful date, right? You text him the next day to see how his day is going at work; no response. You give him a call on your way home from work while stuck in rush hour traffic; no answer. You text him again to see if he is alright; no text back. Another day goes by, much like the day before, and still…no response. The weekend arrives, and guess who’s texting to see if you’re available to “hang out?” Potential Bae. This type of f*ckboy lacks consistency. He texts you only when it’s convenient for him and comes and goes as he damn well pleases. If he’s being inconsistent with you, he’s probably inconsistent in other areas of his life. So, the next time you receive a “Sup, big head,” text, hit that f*ckboy with a block button and move on.
Sign #3: He lacks direction
You’re a goal-getter. Your dreams keep you awake at night, and you are determined to turn them into your reality. You envision sharing your life with a man who is equally ambitious and driven so that the two of you can become a power couple. There’s only one teeny, tiny problem; Bae doesn’t appear to be riding the same wave as you. In fact, Bae is content with his 9-5 (no shade to 9-5’ers because I am one of them) and has no intention on leaving his comfort zone. The greatest dream Bae ever had probably consisted of bagging a chick that looks like Alexis Sky. Bae does well just to get out of bed in the morning, and you expect him to ferociously pursue his dreams and accomplish his lifelong goals? Nah. I’ve always said that a man who lacks direction can’t possibly show you the way. You should want a man to be a leader – in your relationship, in your household, in your family, in his workplace, in his community, etc. Sis, if he can’t even tell what his plans are for the week, how can he possibly tell you what he plans to do with his life? Sis…Let. Him. Go.
Sign #2: He’s emotionally, mentally, and/or financially unstable
Today, Bae is glad. Today, Bae is sad. Today, Bae is mad. Sis, Bae sounds like a children’s book. He is constantly taking you for a never-ending ride on his emotional rollercoaster. Whether you realize it or not, you’re actually attracted to several different men because Bae is packing about five different personalities in one body. It doesn’t end here though. Has Bae had multiple jobs in a matter of, I don’t know, let’s say six months? That means he’s probably financially unstable as well. Sis, you deserve a man who is in touch with his emotions but who is mature enough to keep them in check. You deserve a man who is committed and who perseveres through good times, bad times, and the downright ugly. And if he is constantly bouncing from job to job, project to project, idea to idea, and so forth and so on, that means he is indecisive…and he’s probably indecisive about you, too.
Sign #1: He’s for everybody
This is simple, sis, but I need you to pay close attention to this one because it is imperative that you get this one. If Bae is a hoe, it’s an automatic no-go. NO-GO. Sis, don’t argue with me here. No, he isn’t going to change for you. No, you can’t inspire him to be a one-woman man. No, you’re not different or more special than any other woman he’s ever been with. If Bae has a record of running through women like he’s running through a field of daisies in a HPV meds commercial, it ain’t gonna work. So, unless you want to spend your days meddling in his phone, trolling his social media, crying your eyes out in the wee hours of the morning, and having to constantly explain to your family and friends why you are [crazily] in love with this man and vouching for how he’s a truly a good man underneath all his baggage and bullsh*t, then I suggest you throw the whole Bae away.
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