The sun is going down at seven and you can’t quite walk out of your apartment with an open-toed pump like ya used to. That’s right ladies! Cuffing season is in full effect and yet somehow you find yourself young, fine, and uncuffed. I’m here to let you know that you are not alone! There are plenty of women who have beauty, brains, and so much to offer that find themselves holding it down on their own and are totally fine with it. Sometimes the single life can be super tough and annoying, but you can get through it. Here’s a guide to gracefully accepting your relationship status based on the lives of your fave single ladies: Kirby. J, Issa Dee and, Khadijah James.
Kirby.J: The Recent College Grad
This is for my early 20 somethings. For the recent college grads that got to the other end of that stage with everything but their “Dwayne.” My mom found my dad her freshman year in college, married him at 23, and has been floating on a cloud ever since. Beautiful right? That’s how I always pictured my life; just like that. Fast forward to present day where I am 23 and the last guy I even considered boyfriend potential was left on “read” back in May. My life didn’t play out like my mother’s, nor did my Gilbert change to Wayne after college. But the single life as a young professional is actually pretty fun when you allow it to be.
How to be OK:
Sometimes you don’t actually want a boyfriend, you just need a boy, friend. You with me? Focus on creating new friendships that balance out your crowd, especially if you usually surround yourself with your best girlfriends. It may be refreshing to have a guy around that is fun and treats you well that you know isn’t going anywhere because he is simply your homie. Pop on over to that happy hour your homegirl told you about and mingle with some new people!
Issa: The Freshly Single
So you and your man just broke up and you are pulling the Band-Aid slowly. You turn down invitations to go out with your girls because you’re “just not up to it” and rather sit at home feeling sorry for yourself while deleting your couples’ photos from IG. Girl, if you don’t rip that sh*t! You may not be ready for a new relationship, but you are definitely ready to get out! Don’t necessarily set up a “ho-tation” like our girl, but enjoy the fact that you are able to date again whenever you’re ready. Don’t allow the fact that you are now single to make you lonely.
How to be OK:
Stop letting the reason for your break-up consume you or change how you see yourself. You are still just as vibrant as you were before him and while you were with him as you are now. Make a little list of what makes you bomb and keep it in your purse. Whenever you start to sulk and reminisce about the love you once had, whip that thing out and read it a few times. It may seem cliché. Heck, you may even throw it away once or twice. But re-write it and keep it close. It’s a much better pick me up than that third glass of wine.
Khadijah: The HBIC
Maybe you don’t run a super fly magazine company like Flava in the heart of New York City, but you did just quit your 9-5 to go full-time with your own business. You are a superwoman that is crushing it, but at the end of the day when the laptop is finally closed, you just want to call your man up and tell him about your day. There’s just one problem: You haven’t figured the man part out just yet. I can totally understand needing someone to vent to. Building a business and a brand and sustaining the two is hard work! Such hard work that you’re probably pretty busy, right? Like all the time? Ha! That’s what I thought. If you constantly get that text from your best friend that you missed another birthday party because you’re so busy, how will you juggle dating in there as well? I’m not saying it’s impossible, but why stress yourself over something that you know deep down inside you don’t even have the time to give your attention to?
How to be OK:
As an entrepreneur, you are more than likely present at all the going-ons in your area to push your brand and expand your network. Most of those events end just before late night happy hour starts and are in trendy areas with a few bars. Call your best friend to round up the girls to meet you at the bar closest to the networking venue and catch up. You know it’s been a minute! Catching up with your girlfriends to share a few laughs and talk through your frustrations with work may be just the therapy you need! It will also loosen you up from all the elevator pitches you’ve been dishing all night.
No matter where you find yourself on the spectrum of twenty somethings, remember that your twenties are considered your “selfish years.’ So be just that. Selfish. Focus so much on your growth, your friendships, and overall enjoyment of your still-present youth that you don’t have the time to focus on a boyfriend or lack thereof. Single is a status. Loneliness is a choice. Why choose loneliness? Get out of your house and onto the scene! Live single girl! I promise you, you’ll be OK.